I had the privilege of speaking on managing food allergies in schools through @foodallergy to a national audience. I wouldn’t wish food allergies on anyone, but the experience has made me a sharper clinician, a more compassionate human, and a mother filled with gratitude that my 2.5 year-old child comes home safe from school every day. I never take a day away from my watchful dietitian mom eagle eyes for granted.
Allergy caregivers, I see you. I see you scanning every surface for sesame seeds at the park / a museum. I see you wincing when you see a stack of hummuses at a birthday party, or bird feeder pinecone activities smeared with peanut butter. I see you putting on your scary mom voice when asking servers about nuts in food, and losing your marbles when it’s clear they don’t understand, and your kid is going to have to eat your soggy emergency safe sandwich you packed and not understand, while the rest of the table enjoys their meal. I see you swiping food away from your child a mere moment before she takes a bite and her erupting into tears. I see you having a heart attack every time the school’s phone number appears on your phone during the day. I see you waiting 17 hours for the allergist who had a 6 month waiting list. I see you getting slammed with $2,000 bills for oral challenges done at the hospital (just for your kid to eat a couple of teaspoons of peanut butter under medical supervision.) I see you picturing the worst whenever he goes off to a play date or with grandparents. I see your fury when for the 800th time, your closest family and friends have no idea the dosing of Zyrtec, or where the epipens are kept, or even WHAT his food allergies are, and that they can’t just eat everything bagels with reckless abandon in his presence…
I see the “I have allergies” sad but hilarious lunchbox.
I see the silent weeping as you read Daniel Tiger’s allergy book to her at night to try to teach her / comfort her.
I see your reticence to travel, especially outside the US, and how it hurts to basically not be able to travel to Israel, your religion’s most sacred space, since it’s so laden with sesame.
You’re at a party and you have NO idea what is safe to eat. Or if your child will have to go without cake. (Thanks, Publix – yours is definitely sesame cashew pistachio free because my kid eats it all the time!) I see your other siblings protecting your food allergy kid.
I see the bullying and the shame from older, other cruel children. I see the blatant ignorance of virtually everyone without food allergies. I see the empathetic families packing allergy-friendly food when they eat with your child. I see the thousands of hours spent in the doctor’s office doing weekly oral immunotherapy visits, and the DAILY micro doses at home that you hope won’t kill them. I see you keeping a squirming child still for an hour every single day after those microdoses. I see you becoming grateful that your child is otherwise healthy, and having enormous gratitude that you are well-equipped to cope, and that in the grand scheme of all the horrendous things babies and children can have… food allergies are manageable. There’s a Yiddish saying that if everyone threw their troubles in a circle, you’d take yours back.
I want to thank our school, our friends who make an effort to understand food allergies and who take them seriously, all of you who reached out after the webinar with kind words, advocacy groups, food allergy friendly brands, restaurants who take food allergies seriously, and G-d who watches over us!